Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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