who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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