Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
