You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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