Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
