i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
