Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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