i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
