I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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