Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
