sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
