Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
