Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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