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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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