Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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