He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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