it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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