My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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