You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
