Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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