dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
