Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
