In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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