you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
