So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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