It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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