I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
