CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
