im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
