They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
nutella sex= disaster
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
