I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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