Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
