If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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