K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
