I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
