we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Randomize
