oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
