She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
