I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
