ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
