For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
