Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
