Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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