I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
