i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
