wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
