Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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