Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
