idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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