I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
