You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
