I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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