I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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